I don't need Feminism

The movement is misunderstood, skewed, vilified and looked down upon by a lot of people today. I keep hearing the words 'I don't need feminism' more so today than yesterday. When I label myself a feminist, folk have  knee-jerk reaction and quickly lump me into the category that my husband has lovingly referred to as 'feminazi'. I get accused of misandry by a few and others accuse me of setting back the movement. I get categorized as a traitor because I happen to enjoy video games and don't get bothered by scantily clad characters (I am looking at you Sarkeesian).

There is just no pleasing anybody these days, really. Damned if I decide to put on make up and wear a dress, damned if I decide to wear pants and not bother beating my face. If I choose to stay at home and raise my kids I am antiquated and if I chose to be a career woman I'm denouncing my femininity.

It was not too long ago when women didn't have a choice in the matter. We had to stay home, clean the house, rear the children and have sex with our husband whenever he wanted to. For easy math, allow me to mention that it was not until 1984 in the case of People vs. Liberta  Judge Sol Wachtler stated "a marriage license should not be viewed as a license for a husband to forcibly rape his wife with impunity. A married woman has the same right to control her own body as does an unmarried woman." I  was born in 1984. That was 31 years ago.

It was not until in 1993 that the concept of marital rape exemptions became judicially declared unconstitutional.

In 1993, I was in 3rd grade.

Hell, it was not until 2013 that the state of Washington finally got rid of its own exemption to third degree marital rape. That was two years ago.

In 5th grade (That is 1995 for those of you keeping track of the math), I remember sitting cross-legged on the carpeted floor of the classroom as Mr. H read the newspaper to us. I don't recall which case we were following that year but I do remember how he pointedly paused reading, closed the newspaper on his lap and asked us if a woman was at fault to be harassed, molested and raped because of the clothes that she wore. Granted, the question was a little unfair. While the majority of us had already gone through the sexual education class the concept of rape was somewhat foreign.

We sat in silence, confused. He asked us again if it was okay to blame Little Susie if she got robbed because of a watch she wore. "No!" we answered in unison.

Was it okay to blame Little Johnny to get drugged and beaten up because of the pair of pants? "No!" we answered yet again.

So why was it okay for someone to blame the woman if she was sexually harassed because of what she wore? How was she asking to be touched in ways that she didn't want to be touched because she was at a night club dancing with her boyfriend?

It wasn't and it isn't.

Yet, we still do it.

If I choose to have an abortion, regardless of the reason, it is mine to make. If I decide to stay at home and be a house wife, that is my choice. If I chose to be a career woman and follow my dreams of opening up a restaurant, a photo studio or a write dozens of books, that is my prerogative.   And sometimes, I like to, as the lovely queens I follow on youtube like to say, beat my face with make up, don some pearls then sit down to play Borderlands and enjoy the view of my siren's ass while I pretend to be as hot as her.

We like to talk about how we're abusing the rights our soldiers have fought for us to have. We like to discuss on how freedom in this country is taken for granted when so many, ironically, men and women have died to ensure. Every memorial day and labor day we talk about these things but we are quick to forget that both sexes have fought for women's equality. Thanks to Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady, James Mott and Federick Douglas we can vote along with our men. Thanks to Jane Roe's case and the male Supreme Court Justices who weighed in on the matter, I can end an unwanted pregnancy if I choose to. Because of women like Winifred C. Stanley who fought long and hard in 1942 to that by 1963, John F. Kennedy could finally pass the Equal Pay Act.

An example of misandry

Any time I hear a woman say that we do not need feminism spits on the work of those men and women who have fought against status quo to make things better for all of us. Any time I hear about a woman who laments that there are not enough empowering female figures, that women should not be objectified and then turns around to do the exact same thing to a man, she steps on the metaphorical flag of equality.

Not all men believe that women belong in the kitchen or should put out for their husbands no questions asked. My husband certainly does not. Neither does my father. Mr. H certainly didn't. Any woman who paints all men with the same broad brush she accuses a man of painting womankind with, is not a feminist. She's a misandrist. Any woman who claims to not need feminism because she defines herself and derives her own values and that there is no war against her is confused. Why? Because women are treated like second class citizens all over the world.

fem·i·nism

ˈfeməˌnizəm

noun

1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Feminism is about equality among the genders. Women deserve the same pay as men for the same amount of work that we do. And by that same token, men deserve to have paid time for paternal leave.

And if you're still a little confused about what I'm trying to say, let me share with you a little idiom I know: What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

What's good for mankind is good for womankind.